By now everyone around the world has wasted precious moments of our lives reading up on the latest scandal involving Britney Spears.... her 16-year old sister's pregnancy. You go Jamie-Lynn; at least you're not old enough to smoke or drink yet, two things celebrities seems to mistake for prenatal vitamins. The lucky child molester... I mean father to be is 18-yr old Casey something or other. More of a nobody than Kevin Federline, but still more famous than Aaron Carter.The whole debacle is yet another reminder of how much our lives do not suck right now. Most likely you have a mom at home who didn't pimp you out to OK! Magazine for an exclusive interview and 1 million dollar plus baby pictures. That Lynne Spears is a class act - she'll whore her family out just to make some green, especially since her career ambitions are on hold. Heres to hoping her Christian parenting book (no joke) is stonewalled indefinitely. Kind of makes me proud of Britney; at least she made it another five years or so before turning her life into a shit show.
Dane Cook - Pregnant Lady
Back here in the land of the (semi) sane I had to postpone my reviews of new albums by Lupe Fiasco, Mary J. Blige, and the soundtrack for the new Daniel-Day Lewis film There Will Be Blood composed by Jonny Greenwood of Radiohead, all in the interest of finalizing my top album countdown for 2007. Heck I've been dying to plug a few new films as well, including Ed Norton's new police flick, Frances McDormand's Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day, and the star-studded, extremely sexy historical release: The Other Boelyn Girl. But narrowing down this list has proved more difficult than sitting through Heath Ledger in Casanova, and trust me that was a triumph. I know if I can withstand 2 hours of a poorly written, even more poorly acted comedy/drama/horror?, I can certainly have my top list up and sputtering on the site by Christmas.
Lupe Fiasco - Go Go Gadget Flow
Jonny Greenwood - There Will Be Blood
The Other Boelyn Girl (Eric Bana, divorce your wife and marry me)
Because I love you all here's a little teaser of what you'll find on UAFT in the coming days - I'll be counting down the top 50 albums of 2007, ten per day, with numero uno revealing itself on Jesus's supposed birth. I can tell you that Via Audio, Band of Horses, Iron & Wine, Beirut, The National, and The Shins all made the cut, and that even those of you who know me well probably couldn't guess my number one pick. So stay tuned throughout the weekend for guaranteed audio orgasms. Also if you're under 18, stay clear of any and all sperm. Just because Jamie-Lynn is pregnant doesn't mean you should be too. Pack on the pounds the normally unhealthy way - by overloading on eggnog, cookies, and most importantly, booze.
Heres a few tracks that got me through finals:
Kanye West - Young Folks (Peter Bjorn and John mixtape)
Animal Collective - Peacebone
The Perishers - Come Out of the Shade
The Format - For You (Bruce Springsteen cover)
Shout Out Louds - Normandie
MIA - Paper Planes (The controversy surrounding this newly released video was way juicy)
Watch for a little Beastie Boys love...
Jamie-Lynn photo courtesy of Perez H.