Today's WTF : Shitty rap music
So I keep pretty close tabs on the indie music scene by choice. And more unwillingly, I am subjected to the zeitgeist of the mainstream pop scene, through sheer force of advertising, word of mouth, and the use of itunes. Lets face it: we all have our guilty pleasures. I myself am a shameless fan of the train wreck that is Unfitney. But when did shitty rap music move beyond guilty once-in-awhile pleasure to chart-topping obsession? Why does the top ten on itunes make me want to vom every time I see it?
Hurricane Chris has left me more devastated than most natural disasters, T-Pain's "Buy U a Drink" has inadvertently made me both an alcoholic and a horrible scrabble contender, and I seem to have retained both back pain and acute bitterness for Soulja Boy and the very vague "Dat" which I am supposed to crank.
Heres what I've decided, shitty rap music (shrap music as I like to call it) is like a one-night stand. Dirty, Forgettable, and about 3 minutes and 30 seconds.... too long. There might be a reason why we like hearing "Crank That" when we are completely wasted at a party. Its for these same reasons that we might leave a bar with Smeegel's slightly less attractive twin. Alcohol is key; I'm pretty sure no other substance allows us to lower our standards so easily, unless you count Rufies, but even LTK isn't sick enough go there. Shrap music and spontaneous, unprotected sex - two things that feel good in the moment, but when reflected upon seem utterly foolish, irresponsible, and can leave us with pesky little bumps that won't go away.
My recommendation: hit it and quit it. Enjoy your dirty sexy moment with the latest Chingy single but throw that shit out the front door after minimal use. Make sure you're able to get some immediate gratification (we all deserve some) but as soon as you hit audio climax ban that mp3 from the premises. It's not marriage material - nothing you'll want to wife and buy you nice things. And use protection, seriously. I feel like I can get pregnant just from listening to a 50 Cent song.
So onto one of our favorite summer Blockbusters, "Transformers" and why/why not Michael Bay is a f*cking racist. Its not a new controversy, but since I just got around to watching the full movie, its new to me. And really who else matters?
It seems that many a protester take issue with black transformer Autobot Jazz, saying he is clearly a racist depiction of the stereotypical African-American male. After all he speaks using Ebonics and does an amazing breakdance routine, which we all know Optimus Prime could never touch. Theres also the fact that Jazz himself is a Pontiac Solstice, and there is a very cruel, racist joke about Pontiac's and African-American people (Pontiac stands for Poor Old N**** Thinks It’s A Cadillac). Jazz is the only Autobot to be sacrificed in the end of the movie, and many argue this is because he is black.
I believe the makers of Transformers are, at the very least, guilty of reinforcing both race and gender stereotypes at specific points in the movie. Though I haven't launched a hate mail campaign against Michael Bay; Fans of the classic Trans will agree than sans some ridiculous special effects a la Bay style, the new release channels many aspects of the original. And yet...
Some important details were changed or altered in the remake/new release. Jazz went from being a Porsche Turbo to a Pontiac Solstice. In the cartoon original Jazz was Optimus Prime's right hand man, a detail that is less pronounced, if at all in the film. Though fans of the original film know that Jazz's death is not a new plot point, in the older version of Transformers Jazz was not the only Autobot to perish. Even Optimus Prime himself meets a grizzly fate in the climactic ending, along with most of the entire Autobot clan.
My final word: Hollywood productions run rampant with racial, gender, even socioeconomic stereotypes. Entertainment is entertainment, and many times these inappropriate characterizations are emphasized to make an audience laugh. In my opinion they are marks of a lazy and unimaginative screenwriter/production team, who skip past true character development with stereotypes and shortcuts to get to the blowing shit up part. What can you do? This is a sensitive subject for many and I in no way want to mitigate that concern. I do however want to remind people what movie they are paying ten dollars to see, and now, twenty dollars to buy. If you're seeking a cinematic experience filled with truth, equality, and ethical principles then the big-budget remake of a childhood cartoon probably isn't the theater you should enter. If it pissed you off enough, boycott Michael Bay - you won't miss too many Oscar winners. Trust me.
LTK Recommends:
Ryan Gosling's Lars and the Real Girl
Patrick Fugit's Wristcutters: A Love Story
