ChrismaHannaKwanza: A Case of the Mondays Mixtape

Yay, the advent of ChrismaHannaKwanza has me in a decently cheerful mood! The fake tree in my dorm room is all ablaze with the glory of Target craftmanship and the newest addition to my secular nativity scene is a golden goose with a gimpy leg. Aren't the PC Holidays amazing?! Of course its only right that today on UAFT we honor whatever celebration your family uses as an excuse to give each other gifts. For me, this is the birth of the baby Jesus. Of course, I'm the only member of my family who knows Christianity is not an island in South America. But I think the idea of immaculate conception alone is cause to celebrate. Mary was either a true miracle worker or the most successful liar in history. Either way, I'll do an eggnog shooter to that!

Case of the Mondays Mixtape V.2
The Weepies (My Fav C-mas song right now) - All That I Want

Zooey Deschanel - Baby, It's Cold Outside

Low - Blue Christmas

The White Stripes - Candy Cane Children

Death Cab - Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)

Danny Elfman - Christmas Eve Montage (Nightmare Before C-Mas)

The Eels - Christmas is Going to the Dogs

The Eels (Second Favorite) - Everythings Gonna Be Cool This Christmas

Jose Feliciano - Feliz Navidad

Sufjan Stevens - Get Behind Me, Santa!

Damian Rice - Happy XMas (War is Over)

Bright Eyes - Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas

Aimee Mann - I'll Be Home for Christmas

Sufjan Stevens - Joy to the World

Jimmy Eat World - Last Christmas

Feist - Lo, How a Rose E're Blooming

The Beach Boys - Little St. Nick

Otis Redding - Merry Christmas, Baby

Vince Guarldi Trio - Linus and Lucy

The Nutcracker Suite (Baz Kuts Breaks Mix)

Belle and Sebastian - O, Little Town of Bethlehem

The Eagles - Please Come Home for Christmas

Jack Johnson - Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer

Chuck Berry - Run Rudolph Run

The Long Winters - Sometimes You Have to Work on Christmas (Sometimes)
Buy the Peace on Earth Holiday Album - All Benefits go to Toys for Tots

The Drifters - White Christmas

Mindy Smith (Third Favorite) - What Are You Doing New Years Eve?

The Grinch Theme

Jimmy Eat World - 12/23/95

Mazal Tov. Shalom. Merry F'in ChrismaHannakKwanza Everybody, and to all a Good Night. PS. I threw some new Kate Nash in, not because its holiday themed but because this song makes me happy, no alcohol required.

Bonus Track: Kate Nash - Merry Happy

TV Tunes Wrap Up

My Blog window has officially been open for about 2 days now - an all-time record, impressive even for Lydia. The glorious time-honored tradition of finals fast approaches. And I've been sure to lock the windows and keep all sharp objects out of reach lest I get the temptation to shuffle off this mortal coil for the hell fires of damnation. Sometimes I think it might be an improvement to a week filled with three-hour long tests and even longer periods of "studying."

One thing this expert procrastinator has made time for is the stimulating medium of TV! This week saw the much-hyped Heroes finale. Thanks WGA. Although it was thoroughly predictable and otherwise not entertaining. What is it about these phenomenon shows that hit their peak during Season One; LOST ring a bell anyone? The two heroes I knew would be killed, died. Three more heroes I wanted to perish are still on screen sucking up valuable air time that could be dedicated to my favorites, the reason I even tune in. Just call it the Peter, Hiro, Sylar, Elle show and call me tickled. Sure Hayden P is as cute as a button but shes got about two levels of emotion. Crying and whispering. Like if her voice gets quieter, its supposed to let us know something traumatic is going on in that blonde head of hers. (whispering) I just don't get it.

With the countdown to the holidays in effect, new episodes of favorite shows like Pushing Daisies are few and farther between. Great music on television is more difficult to find. But here are a few highlights from the last month or so on TV (I'm making up for lost time). I refuse to put up any music from formerly Tivo-ed show Greys Shitaomy. Shonda, please take a second look at your pride and joy.


Chuck (Zachary Levi is my dream boyfriend)

Band of Horses - No Ones Gonna Love You

The Eels - Fresh Feeling

The Fratellis - Chelsea Dagger

The National - Slow Show

Spoon - Don't You Evah


Gossip Girl (The O.C. fans unite: I watch for the sexy Cruel-Intentions-esque chemistry between Chuck and Blair)

The Pierces - Secret

The Pierces - Three Wishes

The Virgins - Rich Girls

Feist - I Feel it All

Pinback - How We Breathe

Sea Wolf - You're a Wolf

Elliot Smith - Whatever (Folk Song in C)


Private Practice (The Spin Off is Going Better than the Original)

Sia - You Have Been Loved

Sia - Little Black Sandals

Sharon Jones and the Dap Kings (LOVE them) - Tell Me

Matt Nathanson - All We Are

Matthew Perryman Jones - Save You


Check out the Pipettes New Irresitably Sweet Video (Can't Get Enough of Gwenno!)



Bonus Tracks: The Pipettes - Because It's Not Love (But It's Still a Feeling)

Gwenno (and Swipe!) - Last Christmas

Pretty People Can Sing?

The model turned actress is overplayed. The actress turned singer is cliche, and usually bad for our hearing. But we don't hear too many model turned singers, now do we? Maybe we're a little hesitent to believe the insanely beautiful can really sing. Australian model Micky Green is proof that even models have vocal chords. And instead of churning out overly produced synthetic pop tracks, those real lyrical gems that even Hohan or Hil-Hil Duff aren't stupid enough to pen for themselves, Green has made a real mark on the music scene with her debut effort, White T-Shirt.
With a voice to rival the intrigue and seduction of Feist and Hafdis Huld, Green's sweet, slinky beats will have you swaying along unconsciously after only a few seconds in. In fact, we here at UAFT think Green has all the potential for future indie stardom. Hopefully she doesn't blow up too big though. Cause then we'd have to burn all her records and die all our white t-shirts blue, just to prove we're not mainstream. No one wants this to happen; I'm rather attached to my white t collection you see. Each one has a nickname and number, which I've thus arranged into a batting order/lineup for use. Go Team.

Micky Green - Oh

Micky Green - Now It's Gone

Down is The New Up: Even More Radiohead

Thom Yorke is maybe the most perfect human being on the planet in Lydia's mind. Not only am I set to make sweet love to his music for the rest of my adult life, but I'm pretty sure God made a mistake when he allowed such a perfect speciman of artistic talent to exist on Earth. Hes making Jesus look bad. Sure the J-man could turn water into wine, but Jesus didn't rock and roll. He didn't play piano. And he didn't write kickass lyrics like this:

I'm stuck in this tardis
Trapped in hyperspace
One minute snake-charming
The next in another place

All the right moves and
Earn the right percent
Watch me dance like a puppet
You can almost see the strings

Give me an answer
Give me a sign
I've been climbing up this ladder
I've been wasting my time

Crafted by the genius of Yorke, these lyrical stylings come from the song "Up On the Ladder" from the second CD of the boxset version of In Rainbows, one of several awesome tracks I have the privelege to plug. The time left to buy the digital download version, which doesn't include this extra content, off the band's website is waning - Dec 10th is the deadline for y'all who have yet to score a copy. At this point you'll no longer be able to pick your price. You'll have to stick it out until the release of the In Rainbows standard CD, in stores January.

My favorite of the eight newbie tracks has to be the ecclectic "Down is the New Up". Its got all the beauty of a track consistent with In Rainbows, and still, the classic haunting melodies of older Radiohead. The vocals are chilling - permeating your eardrums almost uncomfortably. I can't get enough.

The track listing for the second disc is as follows:

1. "MK 1" – 1:04
2. "Down Is the New Up" – 4:59
3. "Go Slowly" – 3:48
4. "MK 2" – 0:53
5. "Last Flowers" – 4:27
6. "Up on the Ladder" – 4:17
7. "Bangers + Mash" – 3:20
8. "4 Minute Warning" – 4:06

Radiohead - Down is the New Up

Radiohead - Up on the Ladder (Live in Salamanca)

Radiohead - Bangers and Mash
(Amanda, I know you'll appreciate the title)

Radiohead - 4 Minute Warning

Bonus Track (My Favorite In Rainbows track, remixed)
Radiohead - Videotape (Mojib Remix)

We're All a Bunch of Sellouts.... Ain't That Living

Nothing gets me in the holiday spirit like American capitalism at work. All those crafty marketing ploys by big business to get me to lower my inhibitions and flip out the old wallet. Works every time you sneaky sons of bitches! Lydia is highly anticipating the release of Morgan Spurlock's new commentary on capitalism, "What Would Jesus Buy," the same man who made us all scared to lay down 1.99 for a Big Mac after his documentary "Super Size Me" hit theaters.


I still can't get over the story about a grandmother who spit on a store employee after she was informed that there were no more Playstation 3s left to purchase for her SIX-YEAR OLD grandson. Thats right lady, you start your grandchild off on Metal Gear Solid before he learns to ride a bike, or God forbid, read. Like I always say, if they're old enough to tie their shoes they're old enough to engage in simulated violence. Kids under 10 do stage the best coupes.

In honor of the American tradition of buying our friends love with expensive gadgetry and gift cards, I've compiled a list of the best advertisement tracks in recent years. I'm nothing if not a patriot. Go USA. We're all a bunch of sell-outs and ain't it grand! So heres a pretty comprehensive list of my favorite Judas-kiss artists, and the companies who added just the right amount of zeroes to their checks to make these guys go corporate.

Bishop Allen - Click, Click, Click, Click
Sony

Simone White - The Beep Beep Song
Audi R8

Jose Gonzalez - Heartbeats
Sony Bravia Bouncy Balls


The Rolling Stones - Shes a Rainbow
Sony Bravia Bunnies

Bloc Party - So Here We Are
Saturn

Wilco - Sky Blue Sky
Volkswagon

The Go! Team - We Just Won't Be Defeated
Target

David Bowie -Suffragette City
XBox 360

Postal Service - Such Great Heights
UPS (Get it...)

Regina Spektor - Better
XM Satellite Radio

The Chemical Brothers - Galvanize
(Sigh) Budweiser

Cansei De Ser Sexy (CSS) - Music is My Hot Hot Sex
iPod


Megan Wyler - I Walk the Line
Levis Jeans

Atlantic Starr - Secret Lovers
T-Mobile Top Five


Donnie Darko - Mad World
Gears of War Video Game

Bitter:Sweet - Dirty Laundry
Victoria's Secret

Justice - Phantom Pt. 2
Telus


Herbie Hancock - Rockit
Visa

Holiday Commercials

Badly Drawn Boy - I Love NYE
Starbucks Holiday

The Weepies - All That I Want
JC Penny Perfect Gift

John Lennon - Real Love
JC Penny

Jim Noir - My Patch
Target Holiday

Landon Pigg - Falling in Love in a Coffeeshop
Zales

Aren't you just inspired by all the materialism in the air? I know I am.

I apologize for no album reviews yesterday, but pickings were so slim this week that I couldn't even waste my time on listening to the loads of crap music released. I was highly anticipating Ghostface Killah's newest album, The Big Doe Rehab, and although I'm perfectly satisfied with the production and consider it the best new release this week, I was sorely disappointed after the lovable flows of Fishscale and More Fish. Wu Tang will forever be seared into my audio recall, and theres not much room for the Clan to go wrong in my mind. However, I hold Ghostface, RZA, and the rest to such high standards. After hearing the originality of the gang on both group and solo records its hard to settle for anything less than the creativity of beats I've spun before. And in this case, GF dropped the ball a little. Its hard when you raise the bar so high initially. Thats why I always aim low - less chance of disappointment. My bro was lucky enough to see Ghostface in Seattle only a couple weeks ago - I'm still hoping for some awesome concert pics to post!

Wu-Tangs new single ft. Eryka Badu - The Heart Gently Weeps - is the shit though. I suggest holding off on buying the single and springing for the full album purchase when The 8 Diagrams is released on the 11th; Followed by Lupe Fiascos' long-awaited sophomore follow-up, The Cool on the 18th. Although I don't consider myself a huge fan of hip-hop, recent years have def seen a return to the roots of genre, sparking me to take a deeper interest in some of the up and coming stars who have more to say about politics, society, and the idiosyncrasies in popular culture than the mainstream figures who continue to demean women and brag about wealth.

Bonus Track: Lupe Fiasco - Dumb it Down

The Mars Volta also has a crazy new single out called Wax Simulacra. Me likey a lot. This song is a solid investment and one hell of a mind f.

Those are sadly the highlights of the week. If you're bored check out some tracks from The Cribs newest album, Men's Needs, Women's Needs, Whatever, surely one of my favorites this year. Then head on over to your local shopping outlet and drop money like its coked-out Kate Moss from her high-end ad campaigns. Tis the season to empty that bank account!

The Cribs - Men's Needs
The Cribs - Girls Like Mystery

Stay tuned for some NEW NEW Radiohead to be posted later today. The tracks from the second In Rainbows CD have finally been leaked on to several prominent music blogs and Lydia is in possession of the musical amazingness! Also, a very stupendous Chrismukkahwanza Mix is in the works, and this week's TV music wrap-up should be pretty juicy.

Love you all... but only if you buy me gifts this Christmas.

Mischief: A Case of the Mondays Mixtape

I've been feeling especially mischievous this week. Perhaps its the lack of sleep induced by impending finals. Much more likely is the possibility that at heart I'm a blackened criminal; I like Grand Theft Auto too much. If it weren't for communal shower time, and the inevitable presence of one or two "Big Bertha" types, my alter-ego would have me in prison right now. For committing some kind of elaborate heist I think - black market art or something sexy like that. I could never be a violent offender see, I have enough trouble wielding my gun on Halo 2. And the only confrontation I like is between Peanut Butter and Jelly on my lunchtime sandwich.

Mischief has slapped me in the face this week harder than that guy from Real World Seattle. And I'm not complaining. Its been a tremendously helpful form of procrastination. I've been getting tired of plain old complacency and indifference to my schoolwork - now at least I can stir up a little trouble in the process. Small time of course; PG-13 pranks. I told you I wasn't dying to go to prison - I'd have to take up smoking just so I could fit in with the right gang. And we all know prison tattoos would look bad with my complexion. To tide me over until i can get to those Class A Felonies, heres the mischief-inspired COTM mixtape.

Case of the Mondays Mixtape V.1Shampoo - Trouble

The Virgins - One Week of Danger

Peter Bjorn and John - Let's Call it Off (Girl Talk Remix)

Gorillaz -Every Planet We Reach is Dead

Louis XIV - Me Me Me Me

Har Mar Superstar - Cut Me Up

Acute - Trouble

Beastie Boys - It Takes Time to Build

M.I.A. ft. Timbaland - Come Around

Tokyo Police Club - Be Good

The Roots - You Got Me

In other news, I spent an impressive 2 hours searching for a classical song yesterday - after hearing it used as background music in the trailer for the 2008 US remake of the critically-acclaimed Austrian thriller "Funny Games," directed by the legendary Michael Haneke. Although I have yet to see the original, I am SO excited for the frame-for-frame remake of the 1997 hit. The synopsis explains, "a vacationing family gets an unexpected visit from two deeply disturbed young men. Their idyllic holiday turns nightmarish as they are subjected to unimaginable terrors and struggle to stay alive." The film is a take on the dangers of stylized violence portrayed in the media. Writer/Directer Haneke hopes to shock and disturb by presenting the audience as an accomplice the to senseless acts of violence committed by the movie's villains. The main characters even speak directly to the camera at certain points in the movie, winking at us, and are able to manipulate events by "rewinding" one sequence. I encourage everyone to see this one when it hits next year. Its got all the art house appeal with the mainstream add-in: pretty people! Lydia is in love with Michael Pitt so you can count on her to be hiding out in the theater like the Metropolitan Museum of Art.

Bonus Track: Peer Gynt: Suite No. 1, Op. 46: In the Hall of the Mountain King

Funny Games US Trailer

In terms of concert news, The Glass House here in Pomona has finally announced that Pinback is coming!! For Lydia, who falls asleep with her copy of Summer In Abaddon under her pillow still, this is better than the invention of Reese's peanut butter cups and birth control rolled into one. Hopefully you losers won't force me to go by myself - in that case I'll have to get smashed and make inappropriate advances on all men within a two block radius. Which I guess isn't such a bad thing after all; booze, boys, and badass music. What more could a girl want?

Heres the details. Go get you some tix!

Thursday, Feb 7
Pinback, MC Chris
7:00 PM $20.00 - Tickets on sale Saturday, Dec 1 at 12 PM.

VISIT>> www.pinback.com
TICKETS>> www.ticketmaster.com

Bonus Track: Pinback - Bloods on Fire

Soundtrack plugs will come later this week, as promised. I'm up to no good right now, and thats just plain time consuming.

Duck Mother F*ckers

The duo of Yea Big and Kid Static hail from Chicago, IL, one of my favorite new musical breeding grounds as of late. Their catchy electronic beats and ridiculous rhymes make for a listening experience unlike any you've ever had. After getting over the inevitable head-scratching, wondering what exactly to call this grab-bag of musical construction, you can appreciate the group for the lyrical stylists they are. A couple of rappers with a conscience; guys who realize hip-hop culture can be more than derogatory flows about women, cars, and money. Often times their music reminds me of Tim Fite or Rhymefest, both politically conscious rappers who are able to craft powerful prose into poetry.

From their MySpace Page:
Yea Big + Kid Static is hip hop for the stationarily challenged, the soundtrack for your next dance-off, the preamble to next your coup. Yea Big + Kid Static will overcome you like a band of parkour ninjas wearing jet packs leaping over your grandmother's privacy fence to steal a pie. Yea Big + Kid Static are one part short shorts, one part cybernetic organism, all parts awesome. Yea Big + Kid Static are a comic book style action figure for all ages, ready to destroy the plastic casing and blow up the spot with the power and skill of 47 stuntmen wearing mylar battle gear. Be prepared to duck.

Lyrics I Love (Run To The Facts [Mae-Shi Mash Up])

lost all control now you're trapped in shame
the claims you report won't hold up in court
facts need life support because they come up short
for every fact you know you got a swift retort...
toss logic to the ring like that shits a sport
sweat soaking through your shirt like you lost a quart...
cant remember every time you made the truth distort

Yea Big + Kid Static - Run To The Facts [Mae-Shi Mash Up]
Yea Big + Kid Static - Duck Mother Fuckers!

Word.

Welcome Back Sanity, You've Been Sorely Missed

I've missed y'all like Angelina Jolie misses carbs. Apparently the month of November no longer exists - its been torn from my nonexistent calender like it never happened. It's as if I didn't celebrate my least favorite holiday: Thanksgiving, with food I generally dislike and whose historical origins I find slightly suspect. As if those four weeks of devil's playtime (AKA school) were just a bad LSD experience, and the nightmare of midterm after midterm was finally replaced in my subconscious by the usual public nudity experience, and more recently by being trapped in Tom Cruise's basement. Surprisingly, I welcome the bad dreams of imprisonment by an insane Scientologist. Its a warm blanket compared to statistics.

My November break from sanity did allow me some restructuring ideas for Umbrellas. Since UFT has been strictly about media; music and movies since its immaculate conception, I'll be continuing on with my music blog. Sometimes I'll have other interjections - political, social, entertainment, whatever. Usually it will be something requiring excessive mocking and ridicule. If you haven't deduced so yet, sarcasm is an integral part of daily survival for me. If I can't love it or laugh about it, sometimes a combination of both, you won't find it here.

From here on out I'll be making regular posts. Every Monday, for example, I'll be putting out a Case of the Mondays Mixtape. New Release Tuesdays will round up the best of the week's releases - what music is worth your hard earned greenbacks and what CDs would be better put to use as a surface for all the cocaine you're not doing. A mirror or one-dimensional disco ball perhaps. Fridays I'll compile the best music on TV this week - that track on CSI that sealed the case for you, and the coda on Grey's Anatomy that almost made you forget how much the show currently sucks. (Sidenote: If the writer's strike continues I'll review past classic TV tracks or switch to movies). Every entry will have mp3 links to download songs I've talked about or promoted. These are for educational purposes only, and therefore will be deleted after 7 days of posting. If you like what you hear, I encourage you to support these amazing artists by buying their albums, and better yet, going to see them live.

Seeing as I missed out on a couple of integral posting opps, I'll try and best summarize this past month in music.

Best New Releases
Though I was disappointed by The Killer's new Sawdust, and the fact that they're still Mormon, there were plenty of new releases to put my non-polygamist faith back in music this month.

Daft Punk - Alive 2007
Daft Punk's Discovery changed electronic music production forever - and now, so many years later, we get to hear all our favorite classics remixed and live. Christmas comes in November apparently. Buy this CD and be amazed by how much fun sobriety can be.

Daft Punk - Around the World / Harder Better Faster Stronger (Alive 2007)
Daft Punk - One More Time / Aerodynamic (Alive 2007)


Jay-Z - American Gangster


Sean Carter has come out of retirement once again to release American Gangster along with the motion picture of the same name. Let's all thank the ROC boy for not searing our eardrums with another half-ass LP like Kingdom Come, forcing us to wade through so much smack talk, self-promotion, and boasting of his own wealth to find the few, and I mean very few, quality tracks. American Gangster was a return to the old HOVA - the sweet-flowing, former drug-dealing, unyieldingly charismatic rapper we learned to love on The Blueprint, and my personal favorite, The Dynasty. His stories might be reruns, but Jay has the ability to spit old memories of life on the streets with new, rejuvenating rhymes. Bringing the best elements of hip-hop, r&b, and seventies soul to Gangster the listener is transported into the size thirteens of street smart Sean Carter. We can feel the plight of the hustler from the comfort of our two-story home. I am less inclined to believe in Jay's promise that this is the last release of his career. LTK is most certain we'll be hearing from the mogul again - and maybe this time he'll bring us some new, more complex or layered material worthy of his insistent self-praise.

Jay-Z ft. Lil Wayne - Hello Brooklyn 2.0
Jay-Z - ROC Boys (And the Winner Is...)

The Hives - The Black and White Album


Rock out like you never expected. The spiffiest dressed rock and rollers I've ever seen deliver on their latest release, with a new unique sound, and more quality tracks (over their previous releases when quantity was the construct). Listen for a little Pharrell Williams production magic; somehow the man's talent is gold for others and Kryptonite for his solo efforts. These rockers should be praised for their 50's style throwbacks (you just don't see neckties enough in popular music today) and their quirky, infectious, chord heavy sound. More comes out of Sweden than just furniture.

The Hives - Tick Tick Boom

Favorite New Single

Bloc Party has re-released their latest, Weekend in the City to include the new single Flux. I can't say that I was impressed by the original release of the album, considering the wow factor of 2005's Silent Alarm. Why would anyone choose to watch Saved By the Bell: The New Class when you could replay your favorite Zak and Kelly moments instead? Bloc Party set the bar high with their debut, and since then it seems they've been scrambling to impress us as much as tracks like "Helicopter" and "This Modern Love" wowed us 2 yrs back. The re-release of Weekend has one standout bright spot, and that is the new track, Flux. I see a return to the post-punk energy of Silent Alarm, a reminder of the uniquely textured sound that is BP's roots.

Bloc Party - Flux


Stay tuned this Monday for my very first Case of the Mondays Mixtape. I'll also have some exciting concert news, and a plug for some of my favorite soundtracks on the scene right now.

PS. 25 Days Till Christmas! In the spirit of the Holiday, check out this insane blog dedicated to the worst Christmas music ever made! Amazing, right?

Musical Fruitcake