Pretty People Can Sing?

The model turned actress is overplayed. The actress turned singer is cliche, and usually bad for our hearing. But we don't hear too many model turned singers, now do we? Maybe we're a little hesitent to believe the insanely beautiful can really sing. Australian model Micky Green is proof that even models have vocal chords. And instead of churning out overly produced synthetic pop tracks, those real lyrical gems that even Hohan or Hil-Hil Duff aren't stupid enough to pen for themselves, Green has made a real mark on the music scene with her debut effort, White T-Shirt.
With a voice to rival the intrigue and seduction of Feist and Hafdis Huld, Green's sweet, slinky beats will have you swaying along unconsciously after only a few seconds in. In fact, we here at UAFT think Green has all the potential for future indie stardom. Hopefully she doesn't blow up too big though. Cause then we'd have to burn all her records and die all our white t-shirts blue, just to prove we're not mainstream. No one wants this to happen; I'm rather attached to my white t collection you see. Each one has a nickname and number, which I've thus arranged into a batting order/lineup for use. Go Team.

Micky Green - Oh

Micky Green - Now It's Gone

Duck Mother F*ckers

The duo of Yea Big and Kid Static hail from Chicago, IL, one of my favorite new musical breeding grounds as of late. Their catchy electronic beats and ridiculous rhymes make for a listening experience unlike any you've ever had. After getting over the inevitable head-scratching, wondering what exactly to call this grab-bag of musical construction, you can appreciate the group for the lyrical stylists they are. A couple of rappers with a conscience; guys who realize hip-hop culture can be more than derogatory flows about women, cars, and money. Often times their music reminds me of Tim Fite or Rhymefest, both politically conscious rappers who are able to craft powerful prose into poetry.

From their MySpace Page:
Yea Big + Kid Static is hip hop for the stationarily challenged, the soundtrack for your next dance-off, the preamble to next your coup. Yea Big + Kid Static will overcome you like a band of parkour ninjas wearing jet packs leaping over your grandmother's privacy fence to steal a pie. Yea Big + Kid Static are one part short shorts, one part cybernetic organism, all parts awesome. Yea Big + Kid Static are a comic book style action figure for all ages, ready to destroy the plastic casing and blow up the spot with the power and skill of 47 stuntmen wearing mylar battle gear. Be prepared to duck.

Lyrics I Love (Run To The Facts [Mae-Shi Mash Up])

lost all control now you're trapped in shame
the claims you report won't hold up in court
facts need life support because they come up short
for every fact you know you got a swift retort...
toss logic to the ring like that shits a sport
sweat soaking through your shirt like you lost a quart...
cant remember every time you made the truth distort

Yea Big + Kid Static - Run To The Facts [Mae-Shi Mash Up]
Yea Big + Kid Static - Duck Mother Fuckers!

Word.

Welcome Back Sanity, You've Been Sorely Missed

I've missed y'all like Angelina Jolie misses carbs. Apparently the month of November no longer exists - its been torn from my nonexistent calender like it never happened. It's as if I didn't celebrate my least favorite holiday: Thanksgiving, with food I generally dislike and whose historical origins I find slightly suspect. As if those four weeks of devil's playtime (AKA school) were just a bad LSD experience, and the nightmare of midterm after midterm was finally replaced in my subconscious by the usual public nudity experience, and more recently by being trapped in Tom Cruise's basement. Surprisingly, I welcome the bad dreams of imprisonment by an insane Scientologist. Its a warm blanket compared to statistics.

My November break from sanity did allow me some restructuring ideas for Umbrellas. Since UFT has been strictly about media; music and movies since its immaculate conception, I'll be continuing on with my music blog. Sometimes I'll have other interjections - political, social, entertainment, whatever. Usually it will be something requiring excessive mocking and ridicule. If you haven't deduced so yet, sarcasm is an integral part of daily survival for me. If I can't love it or laugh about it, sometimes a combination of both, you won't find it here.

From here on out I'll be making regular posts. Every Monday, for example, I'll be putting out a Case of the Mondays Mixtape. New Release Tuesdays will round up the best of the week's releases - what music is worth your hard earned greenbacks and what CDs would be better put to use as a surface for all the cocaine you're not doing. A mirror or one-dimensional disco ball perhaps. Fridays I'll compile the best music on TV this week - that track on CSI that sealed the case for you, and the coda on Grey's Anatomy that almost made you forget how much the show currently sucks. (Sidenote: If the writer's strike continues I'll review past classic TV tracks or switch to movies). Every entry will have mp3 links to download songs I've talked about or promoted. These are for educational purposes only, and therefore will be deleted after 7 days of posting. If you like what you hear, I encourage you to support these amazing artists by buying their albums, and better yet, going to see them live.

Seeing as I missed out on a couple of integral posting opps, I'll try and best summarize this past month in music.

Best New Releases
Though I was disappointed by The Killer's new Sawdust, and the fact that they're still Mormon, there were plenty of new releases to put my non-polygamist faith back in music this month.

Daft Punk - Alive 2007
Daft Punk's Discovery changed electronic music production forever - and now, so many years later, we get to hear all our favorite classics remixed and live. Christmas comes in November apparently. Buy this CD and be amazed by how much fun sobriety can be.

Daft Punk - Around the World / Harder Better Faster Stronger (Alive 2007)
Daft Punk - One More Time / Aerodynamic (Alive 2007)


Jay-Z - American Gangster


Sean Carter has come out of retirement once again to release American Gangster along with the motion picture of the same name. Let's all thank the ROC boy for not searing our eardrums with another half-ass LP like Kingdom Come, forcing us to wade through so much smack talk, self-promotion, and boasting of his own wealth to find the few, and I mean very few, quality tracks. American Gangster was a return to the old HOVA - the sweet-flowing, former drug-dealing, unyieldingly charismatic rapper we learned to love on The Blueprint, and my personal favorite, The Dynasty. His stories might be reruns, but Jay has the ability to spit old memories of life on the streets with new, rejuvenating rhymes. Bringing the best elements of hip-hop, r&b, and seventies soul to Gangster the listener is transported into the size thirteens of street smart Sean Carter. We can feel the plight of the hustler from the comfort of our two-story home. I am less inclined to believe in Jay's promise that this is the last release of his career. LTK is most certain we'll be hearing from the mogul again - and maybe this time he'll bring us some new, more complex or layered material worthy of his insistent self-praise.

Jay-Z ft. Lil Wayne - Hello Brooklyn 2.0
Jay-Z - ROC Boys (And the Winner Is...)

The Hives - The Black and White Album


Rock out like you never expected. The spiffiest dressed rock and rollers I've ever seen deliver on their latest release, with a new unique sound, and more quality tracks (over their previous releases when quantity was the construct). Listen for a little Pharrell Williams production magic; somehow the man's talent is gold for others and Kryptonite for his solo efforts. These rockers should be praised for their 50's style throwbacks (you just don't see neckties enough in popular music today) and their quirky, infectious, chord heavy sound. More comes out of Sweden than just furniture.

The Hives - Tick Tick Boom

Favorite New Single

Bloc Party has re-released their latest, Weekend in the City to include the new single Flux. I can't say that I was impressed by the original release of the album, considering the wow factor of 2005's Silent Alarm. Why would anyone choose to watch Saved By the Bell: The New Class when you could replay your favorite Zak and Kelly moments instead? Bloc Party set the bar high with their debut, and since then it seems they've been scrambling to impress us as much as tracks like "Helicopter" and "This Modern Love" wowed us 2 yrs back. The re-release of Weekend has one standout bright spot, and that is the new track, Flux. I see a return to the post-punk energy of Silent Alarm, a reminder of the uniquely textured sound that is BP's roots.

Bloc Party - Flux


Stay tuned this Monday for my very first Case of the Mondays Mixtape. I'll also have some exciting concert news, and a plug for some of my favorite soundtracks on the scene right now.

PS. 25 Days Till Christmas! In the spirit of the Holiday, check out this insane blog dedicated to the worst Christmas music ever made! Amazing, right?

Musical Fruitcake