Eleanor Rigby, Get My Revolver

The lack of new television programming this week has made me bitter before my time. I always thought the inevitable senility would set in around sixty. I was actually looking forward to the scaring little children part. But it seems I could apply for retirement by next Tuesday at the rate I'm going. Okay WGA, noble cause and all, but while you hold out for more money my premature aging condition worsens. I hold you personally responsible for my early demise.

The one bright spot in my ailment was a brand new episode of Pushing Daisies. I can't get enough of the adorable Kristen Chenoweth - Wicked fans rejoice. I have to give it up for Jim Dale as well; without his narration skills PD would just be another eccentric hour of exaggerated, unrealistic plot twists. And I'm convinced there is no one in the world who can bring Vernon Dursley and Dumbledore to life with quite such creative perfection. Move over Ron Howard, theres a new vocal omnipresence in my heart.

Harry and the Potters - Save Ginny Weasley

Because theres no new TV tunes to impart I decided instead to turn my focus to the silver screen. One movie I'm ever so excited about is Guy Ritchie's newest flick, Revolver. Starring potential husband number five, Jason Statham, as the charismatic gambler/conman/inmate Jake Green. Really how gorgeous is handsome Rob?

After being released from a 7-year stint in the pokey, Jake becomes unbeatable at the card tables using a formula for the ultimate con he learned from some lifers on the inside. Now he is primed and ready to exact revenge on Dorothy Macha (Ray Liotta), the man responsible for his jail time. Long story short: Macha catches wind of the scheme, only after being royally owned by Jake in a game of poker, and sends his goons to 'take out the trash'. Instead Jake is saved by two enigmatic ruffians, one of which is Andre Benjamin (Bust out B.O.B.!) and unintentionally involves himself in more shenanigans than he can handle. "But, the biggest danger of all comes from a totally unexpected source…himself. It gradually transpires the real conman is in his head." Classic Richie right? Crazy as shit characters, fast-paced crime drama, nonsensical British dialogue, the guarantee of chauvinistic reactions to card games, plenty of laughs, and don't forget the glorification of violence. I just wiped a little drool. Anything Jason is in is worth the arm and leg movie theaters now charge - even Transporter 2.

Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels Soundtrack
I Wanna Be Your Dog
Hortif**kinculturalist
Why Did You Do It

Snatch Soundtrack
Diamond

Revolver Theatrical Trailer



Going with the theme musically, I thought it was an opportune time to hop in my time machine (Same model Kip got off ebay) and take a little trip back to the turbulent days of 1966. August 5 to be exact - the day The Beatles seventh studio album Revolver was released in the land of the Queen. Three days later it would hit hoards of screaming teenage girls in the US - those who found bowl haircuts and bad teeth extremely sexy; kids who thought sticking it to the man was rocking out to "Good Day Sunshine" and the ever-popular "Yellow Submarine." Bad-ass.

I might be bias, but Revolver is quite possibly the best album released by the original boy band. Compared to its predecessor, Rubber Soul, this album is more rock than folk, more electric then eclectic. Gimme that old time rock and roll right Seger? Revolver remained #1 on the charts for upwards of six weeks in the states and abroad. It was a pioneer for studio techniques including string arrangement ("Eleanor Rigby"), backmashing (Lennon's marijuana-induced mistake with "I'm Only Sleeping") and Motown-ish brass instrumentation ("Got to Get You into My Life"). It also includes some of the best collaborations between dynamic duo Lennon and McCartney, as well as elevating Georgie H from pretty(?) face to songwriter. Fun fact: The peace-loving Beatles weren't all about the handgun industry; the name of the album is a play on the revolving motion of the record as it plays. So grab your tea and biscuits, don your red, white and intellectually superior, and raise a toast to the most famous quartet in history. Here, There, and Everywhere.

The Beatles - Eleanor Rigby
The Beatles - Eleanor Rigby / Julia (LOVE Version)
The Beatles - Yellow Submarine

John Lennon - Happy Xmas (War is Over)

Instead of answering take-home final questions about cultural relativism, this weekend I'll be putting together my end of the year Bestest Albums, as well as my personal Turkeys lists. Its a staple of any music blog and I can't wait to reveal my rather unconventional collection of 2007's best. I might also include a list of amazing selected singles, according to the entirely unprofessional opinion of me. Of course I'll be doing all of this naked at the request of a certain individual. There's even a jar of honey sitting next to my computer JBG.

Peace, love, and records.
LTK

American Zeppelin

So I've been up all night tantalizing my hippocampus with loads of info about classical and operant conditioning. I don't know if its the insomnia talking or the NyQuil I've been sipping on like hot coco, but suddenly I feel a genuine need to smack someone in the face. Or maybe punch a wall like all the badass kids did in high school. Unfortunately knowing me, the result would probably involve expulsion and a trip to the hospital for a broken hand. Not necessarily in that order. So instead I've decided to purge my violent thoughts with a little cinematic masterpiece I like to call 300. Mmmm, a hearty bowl of Spartan defeat? for breakfast.

Frank Miller you sure are master, even if the moral conclusion of the film implants a seed of historical inaccuracy. Even if these noble Greeks encouraged incest, polygamy, promiscuity, homosexuality between kids and their mentors, and propagating for the sole purpose of military breeding. So what if they left their children to die in the mountains, had less than 1000 men at the time of J Christ because of this slaughter, and are continually compared to Nazi Germany in their tactics for ethnic cleansing? In Hollywood the facts aren't always important. What is? The way that loincloth really accentuates Gerard Butler's chiseled abs; he's just so darn pretty to look at.

I meant to share this gem earlier but the last few days I've been obsessed with the newest mixtape from DJ Doc Rok. A man who has chosen to try and best DJ Danger Mouse's bootleg The Grey Album by remixing Jay's American Gangster with another classic band, Led Zeppelin. I don't have too much to say about this one - the amazingness is inherent. It transcends cultural barriers. Sort of like the Kofi Annan of remixes. Heres the album in zip form. If you're technologically stunted, and don't know how to unzip a file, download WinRar and let the healing begin.

DJ Doc Rok - American Zeppelin

Oh, and bring it on home for Otis Redding today. The anniversary of his untimely death was actually on the tenth, but we think his legacy lives on no matter what a silly thing like the date says. Thats how strong my love is, okay.

Otis Redding - A Change is Gonna Come

Otis Redding - That's How Strong My Love Is

Otis Redding - (Sitting on) The Dock of the Bay

Otis Redding - White Christmas

Now back to King Leonidas and his verbal whiplashing of Xerxes. Time to wage a little war in the shade.

Check out My Gravel Pit, Then Oogle Michael Cera

Hands down the best album release of this week is Wu Tang's newest album, 8 Diagrams. I already told you guys the first single, "The Heart Gently Weeps" is pure audio orgasm; better than getting felt up for the first time in the backseat of your boyfriends Pinto. The eight of course refers the Wu member count - down one since the passing of Ol' Dirty Bastard in 2004. Lydia has always had her favorites: Ghostface Killah, Raekwon the Chef, Inspectah Deck, and an on and off love affair with the genius of RZA. The first two I respect as solo artists, as both have successfully translated the genius of the Wu into stand-alone efforts worth critical acclaim. In terms of the group, I can't get enough of Deck - always the standout lyricist with a heavy repertoire of metaphors to make his relaxed stylings go down even smoother. RZA deserves a respect and fear all his own. The producer extraordinaire has not only done wonders for the group's albums like Wu Tang Forever, but hes most recently dipped his talents into major motion picture score composition. Lydia absolutely adores the work he did on the fan-favorite flick Kill Bill. And yet, I remain terrfied of his reputation for involvement with the Gambino crime family, once headed by John Gotti, and the inspiration for FBI investigations and a general terror among fans. Some people get off on it, but organized crime is simply too messy for me. Jimmy Hoffa, I'm still looking for you.

I definitely give my go-ahead to purchase this notable album. I think you'll see a flickers of classic Wu, reminiscent of days when Flo-Rida didn't ride to the top of the charts with a shitty song called "Low." Of course, the album is not without its flaws. Several of the old-school Wu aspects are still sorely lacking, including the creepy sci-fi vibes thematic of past tracks, and the stellar collaboration chemistry between Ghost and RZA. I mentioned last week that GF's new album was somewhat of a disappointment - the rapper seems to have sacrificed his place on the 8 (hes only in 3 tracks) to concentrate on his latest, rather mediocre solo effort, The Big Doe Rehab. The magic of RZA and Ghost together is necessary. I would have preferred they collabed on one, outstanding album rather than one great album and another sub-par one for release.

I still recommend catching the group live if you can. Here are the relevant tour dates - snag tix if you're lucky.

Sun, 12/23/07 09:00 PM	House of Blues Sunset Strip Hollywood, CA	Wu Tang Clan	Find Tickets »
Sun, 12/30/07 08:00 PM	Showbox SoDo Seattle, WA	Wu Tang Clan	Find Tickets »
Thu, 01/03/08 07:00 PM	House of Blues Las Vegas Las Vegas, NV	Wu Tang Clan

Other great albums this week include the lovable, and irresistibly sweet soundtrack to the motion picture Juno. I'm so upset I didn't plug this film sooner, as it has been sitting on my list of movies I'd actually sacrifice ten dollars to see for quite some time now. Michael Cera has been charming me since his turn on Arrested Development, seemingly always typecast as the awkward ______ (fill in the blank). And Ellen Page, the lead, has definitely left an impression on my psyche since seeing her terrorize a pedophile in the insanely dark comedy(?) Hard Candy. The official tagline for the movie is "A comedy about growing up... and the bumps along the way." The bump for Page's character Juno, turns out to be an unplanned teenage pregnancy. The film is a heartwarming exploration of Juno's relationships with the baby's father (Cera), her own family, and her subsequent decision to give the baby up for adoption. A special bonus for all you cult AD fans like me, is a little on-screen reunion between Jason Bateman and Michael Cera - this time in quite a different capacity than Bluth father and son. The film also stars the hilarious Rainn Wilson; may the Dwight fan in all of us rejoice. Me lovey the comedy! Go see it.



The Juno soundtrack includes tracks from favorite contemporary bands such as Belle & Sebastian, Sonic Youth, and The Moldy Peaches, as well as old favorites by The Kinks and The Velvet Underground. Could it get any better? Well, yes it can! Cera and Page have one folkish duet on the record entitled "Anyone Else But You," and we love it! We want to ball it up and put it in our pocket and sleep with it under our pillow each night. Many people don't know this, but Cera is actually quite a talented musician. He and a friend have a band called 'The Long Goodbye' and despite the low-quality of the lone leaked track, you can tell the boy's got the chops to make it as an indie rocker.

Belle & Sebastian - Piazza, New York Catcher

Sonic Youth - Superstar

The Kinks - A Well Respected Man

The Long Goodbye - Leading Man

Other notable releases this week:

• Boys Noize - Lava Lava EP
• Damian Rice - Live from Union Chapel
• Robbers on High Street - Seasons Greetings (Single)
• The White Stripes - Conquest EP
  

In the interest of further procrastination I seem to have become obsessed with HBO's Flight of the Conchords. Usually I think I'm ahead of the curve on TV and music, but this time I've jumped on board the phenomenon a little late. Sorry Jemaine and Bret. Heres a bonus track from their EP entitled The Distant Future and a sweet video to turn that finals-induced frown upside down. Hilarious.

Bonus Track - Flight of the Conchords - If You're Into It

Hiphopopotamus vs. Rhymenoceros Video - Episode Three

ChrismaHannaKwanza: A Case of the Mondays Mixtape

Yay, the advent of ChrismaHannaKwanza has me in a decently cheerful mood! The fake tree in my dorm room is all ablaze with the glory of Target craftmanship and the newest addition to my secular nativity scene is a golden goose with a gimpy leg. Aren't the PC Holidays amazing?! Of course its only right that today on UAFT we honor whatever celebration your family uses as an excuse to give each other gifts. For me, this is the birth of the baby Jesus. Of course, I'm the only member of my family who knows Christianity is not an island in South America. But I think the idea of immaculate conception alone is cause to celebrate. Mary was either a true miracle worker or the most successful liar in history. Either way, I'll do an eggnog shooter to that!

Case of the Mondays Mixtape V.2
The Weepies (My Fav C-mas song right now) - All That I Want

Zooey Deschanel - Baby, It's Cold Outside

Low - Blue Christmas

The White Stripes - Candy Cane Children

Death Cab - Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)

Danny Elfman - Christmas Eve Montage (Nightmare Before C-Mas)

The Eels - Christmas is Going to the Dogs

The Eels (Second Favorite) - Everythings Gonna Be Cool This Christmas

Jose Feliciano - Feliz Navidad

Sufjan Stevens - Get Behind Me, Santa!

Damian Rice - Happy XMas (War is Over)

Bright Eyes - Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas

Aimee Mann - I'll Be Home for Christmas

Sufjan Stevens - Joy to the World

Jimmy Eat World - Last Christmas

Feist - Lo, How a Rose E're Blooming

The Beach Boys - Little St. Nick

Otis Redding - Merry Christmas, Baby

Vince Guarldi Trio - Linus and Lucy

The Nutcracker Suite (Baz Kuts Breaks Mix)

Belle and Sebastian - O, Little Town of Bethlehem

The Eagles - Please Come Home for Christmas

Jack Johnson - Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer

Chuck Berry - Run Rudolph Run

The Long Winters - Sometimes You Have to Work on Christmas (Sometimes)
Buy the Peace on Earth Holiday Album - All Benefits go to Toys for Tots

The Drifters - White Christmas

Mindy Smith (Third Favorite) - What Are You Doing New Years Eve?

The Grinch Theme

Jimmy Eat World - 12/23/95

Mazal Tov. Shalom. Merry F'in ChrismaHannakKwanza Everybody, and to all a Good Night. PS. I threw some new Kate Nash in, not because its holiday themed but because this song makes me happy, no alcohol required.

Bonus Track: Kate Nash - Merry Happy

TV Tunes Wrap Up

My Blog window has officially been open for about 2 days now - an all-time record, impressive even for Lydia. The glorious time-honored tradition of finals fast approaches. And I've been sure to lock the windows and keep all sharp objects out of reach lest I get the temptation to shuffle off this mortal coil for the hell fires of damnation. Sometimes I think it might be an improvement to a week filled with three-hour long tests and even longer periods of "studying."

One thing this expert procrastinator has made time for is the stimulating medium of TV! This week saw the much-hyped Heroes finale. Thanks WGA. Although it was thoroughly predictable and otherwise not entertaining. What is it about these phenomenon shows that hit their peak during Season One; LOST ring a bell anyone? The two heroes I knew would be killed, died. Three more heroes I wanted to perish are still on screen sucking up valuable air time that could be dedicated to my favorites, the reason I even tune in. Just call it the Peter, Hiro, Sylar, Elle show and call me tickled. Sure Hayden P is as cute as a button but shes got about two levels of emotion. Crying and whispering. Like if her voice gets quieter, its supposed to let us know something traumatic is going on in that blonde head of hers. (whispering) I just don't get it.

With the countdown to the holidays in effect, new episodes of favorite shows like Pushing Daisies are few and farther between. Great music on television is more difficult to find. But here are a few highlights from the last month or so on TV (I'm making up for lost time). I refuse to put up any music from formerly Tivo-ed show Greys Shitaomy. Shonda, please take a second look at your pride and joy.


Chuck (Zachary Levi is my dream boyfriend)

Band of Horses - No Ones Gonna Love You

The Eels - Fresh Feeling

The Fratellis - Chelsea Dagger

The National - Slow Show

Spoon - Don't You Evah


Gossip Girl (The O.C. fans unite: I watch for the sexy Cruel-Intentions-esque chemistry between Chuck and Blair)

The Pierces - Secret

The Pierces - Three Wishes

The Virgins - Rich Girls

Feist - I Feel it All

Pinback - How We Breathe

Sea Wolf - You're a Wolf

Elliot Smith - Whatever (Folk Song in C)


Private Practice (The Spin Off is Going Better than the Original)

Sia - You Have Been Loved

Sia - Little Black Sandals

Sharon Jones and the Dap Kings (LOVE them) - Tell Me

Matt Nathanson - All We Are

Matthew Perryman Jones - Save You


Check out the Pipettes New Irresitably Sweet Video (Can't Get Enough of Gwenno!)



Bonus Tracks: The Pipettes - Because It's Not Love (But It's Still a Feeling)

Gwenno (and Swipe!) - Last Christmas

Pretty People Can Sing?

The model turned actress is overplayed. The actress turned singer is cliche, and usually bad for our hearing. But we don't hear too many model turned singers, now do we? Maybe we're a little hesitent to believe the insanely beautiful can really sing. Australian model Micky Green is proof that even models have vocal chords. And instead of churning out overly produced synthetic pop tracks, those real lyrical gems that even Hohan or Hil-Hil Duff aren't stupid enough to pen for themselves, Green has made a real mark on the music scene with her debut effort, White T-Shirt.
With a voice to rival the intrigue and seduction of Feist and Hafdis Huld, Green's sweet, slinky beats will have you swaying along unconsciously after only a few seconds in. In fact, we here at UAFT think Green has all the potential for future indie stardom. Hopefully she doesn't blow up too big though. Cause then we'd have to burn all her records and die all our white t-shirts blue, just to prove we're not mainstream. No one wants this to happen; I'm rather attached to my white t collection you see. Each one has a nickname and number, which I've thus arranged into a batting order/lineup for use. Go Team.

Micky Green - Oh

Micky Green - Now It's Gone

Down is The New Up: Even More Radiohead

Thom Yorke is maybe the most perfect human being on the planet in Lydia's mind. Not only am I set to make sweet love to his music for the rest of my adult life, but I'm pretty sure God made a mistake when he allowed such a perfect speciman of artistic talent to exist on Earth. Hes making Jesus look bad. Sure the J-man could turn water into wine, but Jesus didn't rock and roll. He didn't play piano. And he didn't write kickass lyrics like this:

I'm stuck in this tardis
Trapped in hyperspace
One minute snake-charming
The next in another place

All the right moves and
Earn the right percent
Watch me dance like a puppet
You can almost see the strings

Give me an answer
Give me a sign
I've been climbing up this ladder
I've been wasting my time

Crafted by the genius of Yorke, these lyrical stylings come from the song "Up On the Ladder" from the second CD of the boxset version of In Rainbows, one of several awesome tracks I have the privelege to plug. The time left to buy the digital download version, which doesn't include this extra content, off the band's website is waning - Dec 10th is the deadline for y'all who have yet to score a copy. At this point you'll no longer be able to pick your price. You'll have to stick it out until the release of the In Rainbows standard CD, in stores January.

My favorite of the eight newbie tracks has to be the ecclectic "Down is the New Up". Its got all the beauty of a track consistent with In Rainbows, and still, the classic haunting melodies of older Radiohead. The vocals are chilling - permeating your eardrums almost uncomfortably. I can't get enough.

The track listing for the second disc is as follows:

1. "MK 1" – 1:04
2. "Down Is the New Up" – 4:59
3. "Go Slowly" – 3:48
4. "MK 2" – 0:53
5. "Last Flowers" – 4:27
6. "Up on the Ladder" – 4:17
7. "Bangers + Mash" – 3:20
8. "4 Minute Warning" – 4:06

Radiohead - Down is the New Up

Radiohead - Up on the Ladder (Live in Salamanca)

Radiohead - Bangers and Mash
(Amanda, I know you'll appreciate the title)

Radiohead - 4 Minute Warning

Bonus Track (My Favorite In Rainbows track, remixed)
Radiohead - Videotape (Mojib Remix)

We're All a Bunch of Sellouts.... Ain't That Living

Nothing gets me in the holiday spirit like American capitalism at work. All those crafty marketing ploys by big business to get me to lower my inhibitions and flip out the old wallet. Works every time you sneaky sons of bitches! Lydia is highly anticipating the release of Morgan Spurlock's new commentary on capitalism, "What Would Jesus Buy," the same man who made us all scared to lay down 1.99 for a Big Mac after his documentary "Super Size Me" hit theaters.


I still can't get over the story about a grandmother who spit on a store employee after she was informed that there were no more Playstation 3s left to purchase for her SIX-YEAR OLD grandson. Thats right lady, you start your grandchild off on Metal Gear Solid before he learns to ride a bike, or God forbid, read. Like I always say, if they're old enough to tie their shoes they're old enough to engage in simulated violence. Kids under 10 do stage the best coupes.

In honor of the American tradition of buying our friends love with expensive gadgetry and gift cards, I've compiled a list of the best advertisement tracks in recent years. I'm nothing if not a patriot. Go USA. We're all a bunch of sell-outs and ain't it grand! So heres a pretty comprehensive list of my favorite Judas-kiss artists, and the companies who added just the right amount of zeroes to their checks to make these guys go corporate.

Bishop Allen - Click, Click, Click, Click
Sony

Simone White - The Beep Beep Song
Audi R8

Jose Gonzalez - Heartbeats
Sony Bravia Bouncy Balls


The Rolling Stones - Shes a Rainbow
Sony Bravia Bunnies

Bloc Party - So Here We Are
Saturn

Wilco - Sky Blue Sky
Volkswagon

The Go! Team - We Just Won't Be Defeated
Target

David Bowie -Suffragette City
XBox 360

Postal Service - Such Great Heights
UPS (Get it...)

Regina Spektor - Better
XM Satellite Radio

The Chemical Brothers - Galvanize
(Sigh) Budweiser

Cansei De Ser Sexy (CSS) - Music is My Hot Hot Sex
iPod


Megan Wyler - I Walk the Line
Levis Jeans

Atlantic Starr - Secret Lovers
T-Mobile Top Five


Donnie Darko - Mad World
Gears of War Video Game

Bitter:Sweet - Dirty Laundry
Victoria's Secret

Justice - Phantom Pt. 2
Telus


Herbie Hancock - Rockit
Visa

Holiday Commercials

Badly Drawn Boy - I Love NYE
Starbucks Holiday

The Weepies - All That I Want
JC Penny Perfect Gift

John Lennon - Real Love
JC Penny

Jim Noir - My Patch
Target Holiday

Landon Pigg - Falling in Love in a Coffeeshop
Zales

Aren't you just inspired by all the materialism in the air? I know I am.

I apologize for no album reviews yesterday, but pickings were so slim this week that I couldn't even waste my time on listening to the loads of crap music released. I was highly anticipating Ghostface Killah's newest album, The Big Doe Rehab, and although I'm perfectly satisfied with the production and consider it the best new release this week, I was sorely disappointed after the lovable flows of Fishscale and More Fish. Wu Tang will forever be seared into my audio recall, and theres not much room for the Clan to go wrong in my mind. However, I hold Ghostface, RZA, and the rest to such high standards. After hearing the originality of the gang on both group and solo records its hard to settle for anything less than the creativity of beats I've spun before. And in this case, GF dropped the ball a little. Its hard when you raise the bar so high initially. Thats why I always aim low - less chance of disappointment. My bro was lucky enough to see Ghostface in Seattle only a couple weeks ago - I'm still hoping for some awesome concert pics to post!

Wu-Tangs new single ft. Eryka Badu - The Heart Gently Weeps - is the shit though. I suggest holding off on buying the single and springing for the full album purchase when The 8 Diagrams is released on the 11th; Followed by Lupe Fiascos' long-awaited sophomore follow-up, The Cool on the 18th. Although I don't consider myself a huge fan of hip-hop, recent years have def seen a return to the roots of genre, sparking me to take a deeper interest in some of the up and coming stars who have more to say about politics, society, and the idiosyncrasies in popular culture than the mainstream figures who continue to demean women and brag about wealth.

Bonus Track: Lupe Fiasco - Dumb it Down

The Mars Volta also has a crazy new single out called Wax Simulacra. Me likey a lot. This song is a solid investment and one hell of a mind f.

Those are sadly the highlights of the week. If you're bored check out some tracks from The Cribs newest album, Men's Needs, Women's Needs, Whatever, surely one of my favorites this year. Then head on over to your local shopping outlet and drop money like its coked-out Kate Moss from her high-end ad campaigns. Tis the season to empty that bank account!

The Cribs - Men's Needs
The Cribs - Girls Like Mystery

Stay tuned for some NEW NEW Radiohead to be posted later today. The tracks from the second In Rainbows CD have finally been leaked on to several prominent music blogs and Lydia is in possession of the musical amazingness! Also, a very stupendous Chrismukkahwanza Mix is in the works, and this week's TV music wrap-up should be pretty juicy.

Love you all... but only if you buy me gifts this Christmas.